My Birth Story #2

 

Cleo Elizabeth Fish

4th August 2020 at 12.13am

7lbs6oz

At my 35 week scan I was told Cleo was looking big so was booked in for another scan at 37 weeks, following this scan I was booked in for induction on the 1st August, 5 days before her due date. I was a bit frustrated with this as I felt 5 days early wasn't enough if she really was as big as they expected, I was panicking I would birth a 10lb baby with loads of complications and an emergency c section.

I was however happy that we would be able to plan things better and get Rory settled at his grandparents house before heading into hospital. Little did I know at this point that I wouldn't be seeing him again until the 7th and missing his 2nd birthday on the 5th. Every mother worst nightmare and i'll feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. It broke my heart to miss it.

Due to corona, Liam was only allowed to drop me at the door of the ward and couldn't return until I was in labour.

Not long after arriving I was checked and only at 1cm dilated so the midwife inserted 5 rods in my cervix with the intention of stretching me to 2cm over the next 24hours and making enough room for my waters to be broken. I was then sent back to the ward and stayed there until the 3rd waiting to be called to the Delivery Suite for induction. Two days bored and alone waiting to be called. I couldn't leave the ward or have visitors, the food was vile, it was a pretty awful few days. 

On the morning of the 3rd I was finally called to Delivery Suite to get things moving! I was soon going to meet my baby girl! Liam was called and met me in delivery not long after I arrived. I was determined for this to be a more positive experience than Rory's birth so it was arranged for me to get an epidural at the same time as the hormone drip being started, in hope of a calm, pain free experience. Which mostly, it was.

First, I was checked again and was 3cm, I had some mild contractions during the night, the rods had done their job. The midwife needed to pull my cervix forward in order to pop my water. That was extremely painful, I was given gas and air, I remember having to zone out and sing to Taylor Swift - Mad Women in my head to distract myself. My waters were popped and the gush of water was unreal. I was gushing for a good hour. Me and Liam went for a walk to see if I would get any contractions, I didn't.

When we returned I was hooked up to the drip, catheter and given the epidural. The epidural was fine this time, I remember is being very painful with Rory as I was contracting the whole way through but this time it was really painless and calm. I was COVERED in wires and tubes, I was now unable to leave the bed until baby girl arrived. The midwife was unable to monitor Cleo as she wouldn't stay still so a clip was placed on her head. Another wire but it was more comfortable that the bump straps anyway.

We put some music on, Taylor Swift - Folklore, of course and settled in while the drip did its job, time actually moved quite fast, we chatted, sang along to the music and stuffed our faces with wine gums.

Some things may be in slightly the wrong order here as labour is the hardest thing to remember but a common side effect of the epidural is low blood pressure. All of a sudden I felt like my head was spinning, I couldn't see or hear properly and I remember calmly saying "something doesn't feel right" the midwife immediate knew what was wrong, pressed the buzzed and loads of people came rushing in. They got everything under control pretty quickly and the hormone drip was paused while I recovered. This was the worst I felt throughout the whole labour, the only way I can describe it was that I felt like the life was draining from my body.

Not long after the drip was started up again, things were moving alone and I could feel I was having contractions but there was no pain. The midwife did a routine check on the epidural and it was found to have travelled too far up my body so had to be paused until the doctor could check on me and allow the epidural to continue. During this time the epidural began to wear off and I could feel very close together painful contractions. I couldn't talk, only lay on my side and breathe through them. The midwife suspected I hadn't progressed much so mentioned a c section might be needed but that she would check me first. Turns out I was 10cms and baby girl was very much ready to be born. It had been 10cm contractions I was feeling and they hurt. The doctor gave the go ahead on the epidural so we got that going again and I started to push. It took 8 minutes, she was so ready that I barely had to push as it felt like she was pushing herself out. It was an amazing experience, no pain and within minutes she was on my chest. It was completely different to pushing with Rory, it was long and painful. Cleo was the opposite.

I didn't cry when I first saw her, I didn't with Rory either, its like mum mode takes over and I immediately demanded Liam take photos, I got her in a comfy position, latched her on and she happily fed for ages while me and Liam just stared at her.

All the usual after birth stuff was done, I hadn't torn so no stitches for me! I didn't with Rory either so I'm pretty chuffed my bits are still in tact as we aren't planning on anymore babies. I felt really good. My temperature was checked and it was high, it quickly went back to normal but we both still had to be treated for infection which meant a hospital stay. Liam was allowed to stay with us for about 4 hours then Cleo and I were taken of the the ward and he went home without us. This was horrible as we had no idea when we would see each other next. 

We were in for another 4 days, I responded well to antibiotics but Cleo's infection markers increased so she needed further treatment. She also had jaundice but thankfully it didn't need treatment. I hated those 4 days, I missed Rory's birthday, it was boiling hot, I had no visitors and couldn't sleep through the noise. Every night I would listen to women cry over their babies cots because they missed their family, they were in too much pain to lift their babies and many struggled to breastfeed. The midwives were amazing but not enough of them to do what partners usually would. They were relied on for everything including comforting me when I had a breakdown on day 5.

Cleo's birth was almost perfect, the positive birth I had hoped for but the hospital stay will always haunt me. But it was all worth it for our beautiful (not 10lb) Cleo.

Letter To Cleo

Cleo Elizabeth Fish

Born 04/08/20 at 12.13am

Weighing 7lb6oz 

Baby Cleo is here! I will write her birth story soon but in the meantime I thought I’d share this letter that I wrote to Cleo in the notes on my phone, 6 hours after we got the positive test. She is everything I’d hoped she’d be and more. Head over to my Instagram to see all the cute photos I’ve taken of her over the past few weeks!

The day I found out about you...

Not one part of me believed you existed on that Wednesday morning, your dad rushing for work, I also had work all day that day so was trying to get your brother sorted and ready. I took that test and set it down on the floor while your daddy got ready and Rory running riot playing with Watson’s bowl. As I said, I genuinely didn’t expect to see that cross. Not one part of me expected it. We had been trying for you for only 3months, expecting it would take a long time as it did with your brother. My ovaries were against us and I was still breastfeeding so what were the chances? 

Turns out very high! 

We weren’t ready for you to happen this soon, we were shocked, terrified, worried but completely overwhelmed with happiness and excitement of what was to come.

I was scared of going through labour again, it was the most awful thing I’ve ever experienced with your brother. The hottest day of the year, it didn’t go well and somehow your due date was just a few days different to his was meaning another scorching hot labour and two babies with pretty much the same birthday! Apparently I only make August babies?!

Now, I’m sitting here at work in a completely empty restaurant having now known for 6hours. Still not completely believing this is real but that cross was clear as day and no matter how many times I look back at the photo I took this morning, it’s still positive. 

I’m drinking a god awful decaf coffee and I’m happy. So happy. I can’t wait to do it all again, all the pain, the sleepless nights, the crying and the smiles. I’m ready to do it all again. I can’t wait to meet you! 

Baby Girls Hospital Bag

I packed baby girls bag a few weeks ago but after finding out she may be a little on the big side, I pulled it all out and replaced the newborn sleepsuit with a 0-3month instead! This is how its all looking now, ready to go! 

I am using this small travel bag that connects to my suitcase, this is perfect for ease as I’ll only have one thing to pull (suitcase has wheels). Everything only just fits!

First items are of course nappies and wipes. Tescos nappies are the best nappies in my opinion and Aldi wipes are great, sensitive and really wet. Also a favourite. 

Next, I’ve packed three muslins, all from Next. Both for cleaning up sick but also as a breastfeeding cover. I’ve packed three short sleeve vests in 0-1months which will hopefully fit! 

Clothing wise. I’ve got three 0-1month sleepsuits and one 0-3months incase she really is a big girl! All these have built in mittens so I haven’t packed any extra ones. The pink and navy are from Next, the turquoise is from Tesco F&F and the gorgeous floral is from V for Very. I’ve also packed one little pink hat from H&M, I don’t think Rory wore a hat at all in hospital but I’ve got one just in case. 

Lastly, I’ve packed a grey cellular blanket from Mothercare, Rory was mostly wrapped in a towel at the hospital so this is just a backup option, I chose grey so it would match with all the sleepsuits and look cute in photos. I have this Hello World plaque from Amazon for taking her first

photos with and the birth announcement. 

I’ve kept mine and babies hospital bags really simple as I didn’t use most of what I’d packed first time around. I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything I need and Liam can always bring me anything I’ve

forgotten. Anything you packed for your little ones that you think I’ve missed? 

Pregnancy During A Pandemic & Choices To Make

The first half of this pregnancy all went to plan, no pandemic and Liam was at every appointment and scan, we found out her gender at 16weeks at a private scan. It all went perfectly until

the pandemic hit. 

Suddenly my work closed, I was home all day everyday trying to occupy a toddler, Liam was in constant fear of furlough and our bedroom became his home office. It felt like he was completely excluded from this pregnancy. He went from being involved in everything to being cruelly cut out of the whole process. 

As this is baby number 2, for me, it wasn’t so bad going to scans and appointments alone. I knew the process, I knew how to find places and where to park when I got there,  how to answer the questions but it felt really wrong not having Liam by my side hearing baby girls heartbeat and holding my hand. We’re one of those sickening couples who do everything together so it’s been really hard on both of us.

I know this is all in place to protect me, my baby and everyone else but now at 35weeks pregnant with birth looming I can’t help but feel angry that pubs, restaurants and shops are open but still I’m expected to go through a lot of this alone. I won’t lie, I think it’s disgusting and will have a huge impact on both parents mental health. It’s already effecting mine. 

At my 35weeks scan a few days ago I was informed that baby girl is already weighing in at 6lb15oz which is alarmingly big with 5weeks still to go. Gestational Diabetes has been ruled out so baby is simply just big. I will be having another scan in a few weeks to access further then will likely have to choose between an induction or a c section somewhere between 39 and 40weeks pregnant. I was scared before but now I’m terrified. I don’t know what to do for the best and the thought of having to go through a portion of it alone is making it a whole lot scarier. 

I’m so excited to meet my baby soon but this is just not how I expected it going and I feel robbed of the experience. 

Have you had a baby recently? I’d love to know how you found it. Especially if you had to be induced or have a c section. Horror stories or positive all welcome! 

Thanks for reading! 

Baby Girl Nursery Corner

It has been so long since I posted! So much has happened! If you follow me on Instagram @everydayamyblog you will know that I’m 30weeks pregnant with a baby girl! It’s all been quite the whirlwind, we got pregnant on the first month having planned for it to take much longer like it did with Rory and then of course, Corona Virus happened and we’ve all been very much preoccupied with life on lockdown. Everything has been very different this time around, having to buy most things we needed online or in supermarkets and attending appointments alone but thankfully, all has been fine and we are almost fully prepared for her arrival. Starting with her nursery corner....

We have a much smaller space to work with but I think we’ve managed it. We literally have a cot and a chest of draws. The nursing chair is still in Rorys room as we didn’t have space and we still use it a lot with him so hopefully we can manage without but if not, we do have it so will just have to find a way to move it. We’ve gone for a grey, pink and white theme. We’ve kept it quite simple and gone for the same Mokee cot Rory has so that when they eventually share a room, they will match. Rorys will likely be a cot bed by then but they will still look good together and it’s been a great cot for him so it seemed like a good idea to get the same one. 

We have a cot top changing mat, this is Rorys old one. It’s still in prefect condition and worked really well the first time around. By Mokee again, it is very sturdy and great for saving space.

We have this lovely mobile which was actually handmade by baby girls Auntie, we were going to use Rorys old one again as it was beautiful but it felt to boyish and it’s just really nice to have something brand new just for her. I can just imagine her staring up at it in awe just like Rory used to with his. 

We also bought the Mokee sleep pod, we won’t be using this for nighttime sleep but it lives here currently. It will be great for keeping baby safe from her brother when sleeping downstairs or just a nice place for her to chill while she’s small. With a toddler and an energetic chihuahua in the house, it seemed like a good idea!

We have the Mokee Moses basket which was Rorys to use at nighttime, due to space we probably won’t use the legs, it will just go in the cot but it’s still packed away at the moment. As you can probably tell by now, we are big Mokee fans, they worked so well for us with Rory so we’re super excited to use it all again.

Under the cot we have two storage boxes, one with extra wipes and nappies, the other with other essentials like the breast pump, creams, shampoo that sort of thing. Both of these will likely end up empty soon after she’s born when things get used up so will just become extra storage space. Shoved at the back we have our new Baby Bjorn carrier in pink, I am so excited to use this!

This is the only little bit of floor space she has in her nursery corner so ive popped this little box of newborn toys so that they are close by for her to play with both on the floor and in the cot while I’m getting ready or need a safe place to put her while I’m dealing with big bro. These are all Rorys old toys but we will hopefully get a few new bits to add before she’s born.

This is her chest of draws area, down the side we have the Moses basket legs in case we do decide to use them. On top we have a two copper baskets, one with nappies, wipes and bum cream to have handy for nappy changes and the other has a few teddies and a book. We also have the google hub here for playing baby lullaby’s or for use during night feeds. We will have a baby monitor here once she’s born but it is currently in Rorys room for testing out!

Clothes! We really overbought with Rory and he didn’t wear 80% of it so we’ve been really careful this time. This is all 0-1month or smaller clothes, I have some larger things packed away elsewhere but we are assuming she will be similar size to Rory was and he was in 0-1month for about 2months. We haven’t bought fancy outfits, just a selection of sleep suits, vests and leggings. A couple of cardigans, bibs, hats and socks, loads of muslins because they are just an essential. I absolutely love these IKEA draw dividers, these are Rorys but since we can’t get to IKEA I’ve stolen his and will replace them later. Pandemic problems!

The second draw has towels, blankets and bedding. We had so many baby towels and blankets with Rory which we didn’t use so we’ve majorly scaled back. I think we have the perfect amount here. 

The bottom two draws have mine and Liams things in, we might need to give these up as she accumulates more stuff but this seems to work for now. 

I am so pleased it all sorted! I can’t relax knowing things aren't done so I’m feeling much calmer and happier, 10 weeks to go and all I need to do is buy things for the hospital bag and pack it which I will be in the next few weeks probably. It’s hard to get what I need when we can’t go shopping but hopefully as restrictions slowly get lifted, I’ll be able to get the rest of the bits. 

We have a name/initial poster to put up either above the cot or the draws but her name will be a secret until she’s born so no showing that! It’s all really come together and i am just so excited to meet her now!

Rory is 18 Months Old!

How the hell is my little 7lb15oz baby boy 18 months old?! I have been slacking with blogging recently but if you follow me on instagram you'll have seen Rory grow into a toddler before your eyes. He is 100% not a baby anymore. There have been some major changes since I last updated you...

Biggest change is that he is no longer breastfeeding as of a few weeks ago, I really thought it would be so hard on us both but it has been surprisingly fine! He's taken to being without it really quickly, he used to feed to sleep which he still does but with a bottle of cows milk instead, the transition happened really easily and he's been sleeping much better because of it. It has also meant that Liam has been able to settle him equally as well as I can which has lead to me actually having a couple of nights full sleep, no wake ups for me! Rory is still waking a few times a night but that is good for him and it means me and Liam only have to deal with one little wake up each so we are all feeling more refreshed!

Rory is far from being a good sleeper or sleeping through the night but finally progress has been made! He naps for usually 3 hours in the afternoon and has been really consistent with naps for while, this week he's been testing them a little bit but its been so nice to have that time to chill out.

Health wise the poor kid hasn't had the best time of it, starting just before Christmas he began throwing up multiple times a day and this went on for months and still occasionally happens now. We are still looking into the cause with his paediatrician so far, we know he is anaemic. But more blood and urine has been taken and we are waiting on results. Due to this, for a while he went off food and became scared to try new things or even eat some of his favourites through fear of being sick. He is just now improving on this and eating more and more, his appetite is finally back but he's less adventurous than he used to be. He does have a major sweet tooth, loves cake, biscuits and fruit!

We love cake dates in local coffee shops just me and him.

He lost a little weight while he was ill but it seems to be back, he's such a big boy, looking more like a 2 year old than just 18 months but he is also very advanced physically. He can walk, run, climb, jump, dance, do it all! He getting better with his speech but still not saying too much, his favourite words being no and daddy. 

The biggest development is that he's going to be a big brother! Im 14 weeks pregnant and we are so excited to add a new addition to our not so little family! We got pregnant very quickly which we didn't expect considering our issues conceiving Rory so we are of course really grateful for that but also terrified as the baby is due the day after Rorys 2nd birthday meaning a very stressful August and a still very young toddler to contend with as well as a newborn! 

We just know Rory will take it all in his stride like he always does, we can't wait to see what the next 6months hold and make every second count of Rory being an only child. Except Watson the pup of course!

What To Get Where - Baby

Before becoming a mum I didn't know what I needed to get let alone where I needed to get it, now we are 11 months in I do feel like I've gathered some wisdom on the subject. I am nowhere near an experienced mum just yet but I have figured out what works for us and how to save money on items while getting the best stuff!

Feeding: Feeding is so stressful, I breastfeed so I didn't have to buy much for this but once weaning started it was a whole new world I knew nothing about. We started with purees both homemade and Ellas Kitchen pouches which we found to be good quality, baby enjoyed them and well priced. We soon discovered that Rory was more suited to the baby led approach so now he eats pretty much what we eat but snack wise I do like to have a selection of baby safe snacks so keep him full on the go or distract him while walking around the supermarket! We have found Aldi's Mamia range to be the most affordable, he absolutely loves the Carrots Snacks and Raspberry Rice Cakes both of which are less than 50p and last all week. We also love Boots own range. Own brands have proven to be of equal quality of baby brands and usually half the price! 

Bath and Body: Poundland is the place to go! We aren't fans of spending loads of money on washing stuff because at the end of the day they just wash. Johnsons is a reputable brand known for great quality baby products and they are super affordable anyway but bought from Poundland they are even more so. We have never had an issue with them and actually have never had to re buy the shampoo after 11 months as the bottle is still half full! Poundland also sell a pack of three super soft flannels which are you guessed it, a pound and so incredible good. It's all we use!

Nappies: We mostly used Pampers Pure at the beginning as we were kindly gifted a good supply from  Pampers and we got a lot in Bounty packs (get these) and Emmas Diary packs (get these too!) and honestly, they are fantastic nappies but once they ran out and we had to pay for them, we found them to be too expensive so we started trying out so many different supermarket own brands, some better than others but we found Tesco Fred and Flo nappies to be by far the best. Very affordable, soft, no leaks and super cute patterns. Aldi is also ok, don't have the same luxurious feel but do the job well and are a bargain!

Wipes: Aldi, Aldi and only Aldi! Their wipes are incredible! Less than 50p per packed, you can get travel sizes for your handbag and you can even buy in bulk which we do. The packaging is functional and sturdy, you get a lot of wipes and they are the perfect wetness! They are also sensitive which is great for little baby tushies!

Toys: We are very lucky that Rory has 5 older cousins, 3 boys and 2 girls so we have been given so many second hand toys all of which have been tried and tested by real life little ones and then passed on to us. We also love to look on facebook marketplace for second hands bits in our area, send a quick message, jump in the car and go collect! Be sure to give them a clean then they are good as new. We also love supermarkets, they tend to have a great selection of toys and garden centres are fantastic for good books!

Clothes: We have bought clothes from literally everywhere over these months but now we have found our faves that we frequently shop at when Rory has a growth spurt! My absolute favourite is Morrisons Nutmeg, they always have the cutest bits and so so cheap! They also regularly have really good sales to collect bits for his future wardrobe. Other supermarkets such as Asda and Tesco are also great. We also looooove Next but as Next is usually quite pricey we always looks out for sales or outlet shops. We have found so many great deals recently.

 Nursery Furniture: Everything in Rorys room is either Ikea or Mokkee, both affordable, stylish and functional brands. We continue to be very impressed with everything we have bought. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you need to buy everything from John Lewis or Mothercare because you will end up paying more!

Baby big buys: So im talking things like the pram, carseats, carriers. What we did was go into shops such as John Lewis, Mothercare and Mamas and Papas to have a look, ask questions and roll prams up and down the aisles then once we decides what we wanted we went and bought them on Argos or Precious Little One as they were so much cheaper!

I hope some of this helped you as a new or expecting mama or even a seasoned mama who's looking for something new to try out!

Do you have an brands/items that you swear by, what are they?

Rory Has His Own Room!

We lived in a tiny 1 bedroom house when Rory was born, the garden wasn't useable, tiny kitchen and everything was unbelievably dated. We tried our best to make it look nice, we painted and bought all new furniture and I'll be honest, we really did love it but Rory was outgrowing being in our room and Watson (our dog) desperately needed a garden.


We always said that one Rory turned one we would start looking to move but my the time he was 10 months old we realised we needed to get a move on and hopefully with his own room he would start to sleep better.

Spoiler: we were wrong! Still sleeping as badly as ever

We are now fully moved in and unpacked, we are loving all the space, the big kitchen feels like a crazy luxury for us and Watson is in his element running around the garden. I may do a full house tour at some point but until then have a look at Rorys new room!

I'm sure things will change as time goes on, more toys will sneak in after his upcoming 1st Birthday but at the moment, his room is adorable and its working well for us, Rory absolutely loves to play and pull down all his books but sadly, not sleep! Baby steps!

Birthday Wishlist!

I am turning 27 next week, like what?! There isn't much I want this year, my birthday lists are usually makeup, makeup, makeup (which it still kinda is) but this year thanks to a little pain the butt named Rory, I don't have as much time to experiment like I used to with makeup. I do still put it on most days but I tend to use the same products every day which has made compiling a list for Liam really hard!

1. Revolution X Roxi palettes - Roxsauraus (a youtuber) has created three palettes with Revolution and they are so lovely! I am including these because I really like them but I wouldn't be too sad if I don't get them or one of them as they are quite bright shades and I know I won't make full use of them in my now boring daily makeup routine.

2. Too Faced Damn Girl mascara - this mascara has only recently been released and I already know I need it! I can easily incorporate this into my daily routine and I am the biggest fan of their Better Than Sex mascara so I'm sure i'll love this one as well. How gorgeous is the packaging?!

3. Cath Kidston Pushchair Organiser - I don't know how I have managed for 10Months without one of these, I am constantly trying to juggle a coffee or losing my keys and phone while out and about so I just really need something to keep everything together. The colours of this one would look lovely with our pram but honestly i'd be happy with any organiser that stops me spilling my Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.

4. Wilde Women by Louise Pentland - this book is the third in a series and I have loooooved the previous two so much, I am desperate to read this one! Sadly, it doesn't get released until July but I may just have to put some birthday money aside to get it and pre order it on amazon. Dying to find out what's next for Robin Wilde!

Lastly, we will be in Ilfracombe, Devon for my birthday like we are every year. Last year we had tapas and this year I have my heart set on a full Afternoon Tea with a sea view. This weather had best cheer up otherwise it will be a rainy indoor Afternoon Tea but either way I am getting a scone! haha! 

10 Month Baby Update! 🎉

Apologies for my absence in the here recently but omg, having a 10month old and being back at work part time has been hard! 

Firstly, I’ve been back at work for almost 2months now and it has been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. Initially I was really worried about leaving my boy, I fully trust our family to care for him but he is still exclusively breastfeeding so I’ve been pumping a lot to keep up with him but thankfully, as it turns out, he doesn’t drink/want as much milk when he’s not with me so it hasn’t been too bad! This has meant pumping at work which my work have been great with and as I only work part time I haven’t lost too much time with my baby boy. It’s been nice to have a bit of me time as well. Who would have ever though work could feel like me time?! 

Breastfeeding wise, he loves the milk! He’s a milk monster! He still feeds to sleep but has become less reliant on it recently and will settle just as well with his daddy which has been nice for us all. I intend to continue until he’s one then slowly weaning him off the tit at his own pace. Neither of us are in any rush, it really is a lovely experience and I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Weaning is great! We are are all really enjoying it. He is very adventurous and doesn’t struggle with new foods, he is very able when it comes to different textures and shapes of food. He pretty much eats what we eat now which has been good for us as parents as we have had to start eating a little healthier. I’ve been making more food from scratch to make it healthier for sharing! He loves a snack, rice cakes and fruit such as banana, strawberries and orange are his fave but he’s not fussy! He eats a lot! More than my 3 year old niece, definitely explains his moobs! 

Physically, he is doing amazingly well! He’s been crawling for a while, cruising the furniture and recently he has started standing unaided and taken his first few shaky steps which he is improving at everyday. Certainly won’t be long until he’s running! 

Speech wise, he’s a noisy little thing! Loves to laugh, squeal, blow raspberries and growl but hasn’t made any noises that sounds like actual words as of yet and we think he won’t for a while but that’s fine by us as he will do it when he’s ready.  

Sleep... well, this is something he has far from mastered. He wakes many times a night which is frustrating but he is showing progress. He used to need feeding back to sleep but often now he will just have a cuddle and go back

down or sometimes a pat on the butt does the trick. Sleep is something we really struggle with but it’s also something we have accepted and manage with as best we can. Again, he will sleep when he’s ready. He still naps for a good 3-4hours over the course of the day but if he doesn’t get that he’s a very moody boy so I am reluctant to reduce his napping. But this does mean that I also sometimes get a daytime nap which I looooove!

His favourite things to do are eat, feed and play with wheels! My god does this boy love wheels, pram wheels, car wheels, toy wheels, scooters, anything with wheels so we have accumulated quite the collection of vehicles recently! He also really enjoys his fur brother Watson, everything that dog does is hilarious. He especially likes to watch him poop! 

His least favourite things are being put in the car seat ( he loves the car once it’s moving though), being laid down for a bum change or getting dressed and being told no when he’s bashing toys on the tv. He has developed a special half cry half scream for these situations and it’s the most vile noise on earth. 

The fact that he is 10month old both terrifies me but also makes me so incredible proud. He’s such a loving boy and such a character! We are currently in the process of moving house and planning his Hey Duggee themed birthday party as well as a week away in the next month so there’s a lot going on! We are so excited for all of it though! Count down to a one year old is on!

Weaning: Completely Baby Led

Weaning terrified me and I am back to tell you that it doesn't anymore!

 My baby is growing up and becoming a little person. A little person who can and will be influenced by my eating and the food I choose to give him. 

I'm not a healthy eater, I don't eat fruit, salad or many vegetables. I have a fear of unknown foods and a huge fear of texture, living off mostly carbs and meat. I have gotten better in recent years but my diet is still far from good.

I want Rory to have a healthy relationship with food unlike his Mama!

Not long ago I wrote that we were doing a combination of purees and baby led, that was mostly through fear if i'm honest with myself. Fear that I wouldn't know what to give him that was healthy so a puree full of veggies would be the healthiest option but I have realised that just isn't the case. A healthy balanced diet includes fruits, veg and everything else!

Rory started refusing the spoon, he only wanted to feed himself so thats what pushed us to let him, I started with what I considered safe food such as boiled veggies but soon enough he was stealing my toast and staring longingly at our food.

I just thought fuck it, i'm going to feed him what we eat but with baby safe changes and added fruit and veg. He now eats a close variation of our meals everyday and he is finally embracing food! He could eat all day long if I let him!

Here he is eating a mini stir fry! Well cooked steak with baby corn, carrot and broccoli. He loved it and it was relatively mess free which is a huge bonus!

Mini pizza is definitely a fave of his as he is such a carb lover like him mama, he really enjoyed this meal. The pizza got demolished first followed by the carrots but as usual he ignored the broccoli.

I just don't get why he doesn't like broccoli! It is one of the few veggies that I like so I try and hide it as best I can! This is a quick dinner of cheese and broccoli on toast, he really enjoyed this one!

For breakfast he often has cheerios, fruit and a yoghurt. This may seem like a lot of cheerios but they mostly end up on the floor or in the dogs belly! The blueberries always get eaten though as they are a huge favourite! The skins do tend to come out in his poop though so I try not to give him too many haha!

A yoghurt is one of few things he will let us spoon feed him as he just loves them so bloody much! 

If you are struggling with BLW I would advise you to just do it! Give them a little of everything to try and if they don't like it, try again later. Get yourself up to date with how to cut and cook things safely which can easily be found online and away you go. As with adults, everything in moderation. The only things we avoid is chocolate, sweets and we try to keep salt at a minimum.

These are some other foods that have been a big hit...

. Grapes cut into quarters

. Easy pealer oranges, these are his faveeeee

. Blueberries

. Crumpets

. Toast

. Reduced salt baked beans

. Raisins

. Cream cheese sandwiches, sometimes with sneaky broccoli inside!

. Cheerios

. Mamia Carrot puffs (instead of chocolate for Easter, because bunnies love carrots!)

. Humous

. Carrot fries (homemade)

. Grated cheese

. Peas

And a few things he doesn't like...

. Broccoli on its own

. Cucumber

. Strawberries

. Banana (which he will eat from other people but not me?) Maybe he knows I hate them! lol

Learning With Little Ones This Easter

Something a little different on the blog today! I was recently contacted by education.com and asked if I would like to share a learning worksheet (https://www.education.com/worksheets/)with my readers and talk about their website. At first I thought well, Rory's too young for this but then I thought, many of my fellow mums do have older children and with the Easter holidays in full swing they may be looking for both fun and educational activities to do with their little ones! 

"Education.com aims to empower parents, teachers, and homeschoolers to help their children build essential skills and excel. With over 12 million members, Education.com provides educators of all kinds with high-quality learning resources, including worksheets, lesson plans, digital games, an online guided learning platform, and more." (education.com)

Education.com has a huge selection of worksheets and activities that you can download and print for free, whether your kids love to learn or would rather just colour it in, they are sure to find hours of entertainment and maybe even give you time for an uninterrupted cup of tea!

The worksheet I have chosen to share with you all is the "Crawlies Maze" as it is great for a range of ages, even Rory who is only 8months old will enjoy watching me do it or me holding his hand to help him it. In addiction to this worksheet you can find loads more printables on the website for you to explore. 

Zoella X ColourPop Collaboration - Brunch Date Palette

I am a huge Zoella Fan, I do feel she has been slacking recently with her youtube channel and her Zoella Beauty range but when this collaboration was announced, I knew I needed to try something. I had never used anything from ColourPop before either so this gave me the perfect excuse to try them out!

I have always been concerned about shipping and customs costs when ordering from America so have always avoided it but this collection if ordered within 24hours had free shipping to the UK which was a really nice and well thought out choice from Zoe and the team at ColourPop. This fact is definitely what swayed me into going for it!

I am all about eyeshadow palettes, I have quite the collection already so I knew what item I would be purchasing! 

Lets first talk about the packaging, it's beautiful! The palette is a basic cardboard (reminds me of Zoeva) but has a luxurious matte soft feel and the design is wonderfully whimsical with the waffle design outer packaging and the brunch inspired pink palette. A perfect combination of fun but also grown up. 

It fits perfectly with the design of the rest of the range which I think is so well designed, very unique and aesthetically pleasing!  

I would have loved to get the whole collection but my maternity leave budget meant just the palette for me. It cost roughly £17 including a small fee which I thought was a reasonable price for a collaboration palette.

Inside you have 12 shades, 5 mattes and 7 shimmers/foils. In my opinion there is a good selection of creases shades, natural shimmers and a few pops such as the gorgeous blue and the gorgeous burgundy. It is certainly a palette you can wear everyday but it is entirely possible to make something more fancy out of the shades. It is the perfect take on holiday palette for me, I could easily create a week or twos worth of looks out of this.

Left Top to Right Bottom

Maple Syrup - Sundae Funday - Sunny Side Up - Americano - Brunch Club - Extra Slice

Champagne Toast - Pancakes Please - French Toast - Skinny Latte - Cinnamon Sugar - Mimosa

As you can see, the swatches are impressive! The mattes are very pigmented but also very blendable so it's easy to apply because it is so easy to blend out and keep looking perfect. It really doesn't take a lot of work to get the crease looking great. Brunch club is an intense matte blue, not the most unique of shades but is a nice addition. 

Maple syrup, Americano and Mimosa are the perfect selection of crease shades that will work with most looks and French Toast is the most beautiful burgundy that you could use in the crease but I think would work wonderfully for a smokey eye. Extra slice is a matte with flecks of gold glitter and it is the absolute dream! I can't wait to do a full smokey eye with it.

The shimmers, especially Pancakes Please and Cinnamon Sugar just kill me. They are so incredible beautiful and right up my street! I have used them both so many time since owning this palette so I am sure they are going to become everyday faves. 

There has been a lot of backlash on this palette, people saying the shades are boring but I just don't agree. It is an everyday palette, yes but it is a step above. A step more pigmented, a step more sparkly and you definitely can make it work for a night out too.

Ultimately I am really pleased with my purchase! What does you guys think of the collection and this palette in particular? 

TOP TIP: Like many ColourPop shadows (so ive heard) the shimmers and even the blue are best applied with a finger in order to get full pigmentation. You can use a brush but you get the best look with your finger.

SHOP THE COLLECTION HERE

MUM TAG!

I came across this new Mum Tag on youtube created my Emily Norris (find her here!) and it has been done by many of my fave mum youtubers now which ive really enjoyed watching so I thought I would do it here on my blog! Its so interesting to hear how other mothers find parenthood and their experiences so I hope you enjoy reading mine!

1. Favourite mum hack? Im not sure this counts as a hack really but a baby carrier! Babies clingy? Carrier. Babies tired? Carrier. Need to be hand free? Carrier. Muddy walk? Carrier. Breastfeed on the go? Carrier. I love it.

2. Most embarrassing mum moment? Ermmmm, none? I don't embarrass easily and for some reason Rory is better behaved in public than at home!

3. What part of the day do you love the most? Either seeing his smile first thing in the morning or 7pm when Liam gets home from work and Rory is so excited to see him!

4. What part of the day do you like least? Between 5 and 7pm, Rorys a grump so its just counting down the minutes till Liam gets home.

5. The worst thing someone said to you while pregnant? Again, none. People were really supportive while I was pregnant and I loved every minute of it. 

6. Baby name you didn't agree on? Many! I like unique names and Liam doesn't so much! I can't remember exact names honestly but I remember liking Ryan or Bay for a girl and Liam hated both.

7. Do you co sleep? Absolutely not, its something I really done agree with. I mean, each to their own but I would never do it. I do not think its safe, I think it creates bad habits for baby and I also like to have one place thats just mine!

8. Something you bought but never used? We were really careful not to over buy so there wasn't much that went unused but we never used mittens because they are just pointless and we didn't use the swaddle as Rory is a spread out sleeper!

9. Two hospital must have items? I gave much during a heat wave so my mini fan was a life saver. Also makeup, I know that sounds crazy but to be able to have a shower, fresher myself up and put a little makeup on after birth made me feel human again.

10. Are you a routine mum or a go with the flow mum? and what does bedtime look like? Both! During the day I go with the flow, he feeds when he wants, eats when I do and sleeps whenever he needs too but I done let him sleep after 5.30pm so that he is tired enough for bedtime at 8.30pm. His bedtime routine is always the same, up to bedroom, pjs on, feed in nursing chair while Liam reads out loud, baby lullabies on then bed. 

11. What type of labour did you have and what pain relief? I went into labour naturally at 40+4. I started feeling light contractions on the Friday, the ramped up Saturday night and we headed to hospital at 4am Sunday. He was born Sunday 11.47pm. It was a loooong labour and I had high blood pressure and temperature so it was really difficult, I had an epidural and do not regret it!

12. Have you been mum shamed? No but I wouldn't take any notice if I was. I don't care about other people opinions of my mothering in the slightest. Unless i've asked for it and its constructive!

13. What are the biggest challenges you’ve faced since becoming a mum? In the first 5weeks, breastfeeding was really hard. He cluster feed really badly and I felt really trapped. I couldn’t leave the sofa for 5+ hours a day and often in the evening while Liam was at work so I would sit in the dark watching Netflix with dead feet and starving. I cried over that a lot. Now, it’s sleep. He’s is a terrible sleeper, currently waking 8+ times a night, it’s really hard and people always say it will get better but it never seems too.

14. The best bit of advice you’ve received and the biggest piece of advice you would give a new mum? I think people telling me that it gets better has helped a lot actually because it’s true. Every hurdle will improve eventually and it’s all worth it for your baby. To a new mum I would say don’t pressure yourself into doing too much, you may feel you need to say yes to all the visitors and all the baby groups but you don’t. Take some time to relax with your baby, to sleep, to get used to being a mum rather than putting pressure on yourself to please everyone else.

15. Who’s your mum crush and who do you tag? Charlotte Louise Taylor and Giovanni Fletcher! And I tag BecomingMumsy!