Wednesday 19 August 2020

Letter To Cleo



Cleo Elizabeth Fish
Born 04/08/20 at 12.13am
Weighing 7lb6oz 

Baby Cleo is here! I will write her birth story soon but in the meantime I thought I’d share this letter that I wrote to Cleo in the notes on my phone, 6 hours after we got the positive test. She is everything I’d hoped she’d be and more. Head over to my Instagram to see all the cute photos I’ve taken of her over the past few weeks!

The day I found out about you...


Not one part of me believed you existed on that Wednesday morning, your dad rushing for work, I also had work all day that day so was trying to get your brother sorted and ready. I took that test and set it down on the floor while your daddy got ready and Rory running riot playing with Watson’s bowl. As I said, I genuinely didn’t expect to see that cross. Not one part of me expected it. We had been trying for you for only 3months, expecting it would take a long time as it did with your brother. My ovaries were against us and I was still breastfeeding so what were the chances? 


Turns out very high! 


We weren’t ready for you to happen this soon, we were shocked, terrified, worried but completely overwhelmed with happiness and excitement of what was to come.


I was scared of going through labour again, it was the most awful thing I’ve ever experienced with your brother. The hottest day of the year, it didn’t go well and somehow your due date was just a few days different to his was meaning another scorching hot labour and two babies with pretty much the same birthday! Apparently I only make August babies?!


Now, I’m sitting here at work in a completely empty restaurant having now known for 6hours. Still not completely believing this is real but that cross was clear as day and no matter how many times I look back at the photo I took this morning, it’s still positive. 


I’m drinking a god awful decaf coffee and I’m happy. So happy. I can’t wait to do it all again, all the pain, the sleepless nights, the crying and the smiles. I’m ready to do it all again. I can’t wait to meet you!